This article is part of Love and Travel week on Almost Fearless. We’re celebrating the release of Swept: Love with a Chance of Drowning by Torre DeRoche—a true story about how one girl confronted her deepest fears for love by jumping aboard a leaky sailboat for the adventure of a lifetime.
This post is by Lorna from The Roamantics, who is touring the US in a tiny RV as she plots out where in the world she’s going to spend 2012, since she has unlimited free flights (thanks to her flight attendant friend!). Here, Lorna opens up here about a special kind of love that’s suddenly interfering with her travels. Catch Lorna on Twitter.
Balancing Love & Travel: Revising a Plan – by Lorna MacMillan
Have you ever thought you knew exactly what you wanted and arrived only to find that it's not what you want at all?
I thought I knew what I wanted, and boy was I prepared for it. I've spent most of the last twenty years living away from my nuclear family, and my whole life not living near any extended family. I've moved away from people I've loved an average of every 3.5 years, and many times when the only way to keep in touch was via snail mail – meaning we didn't. It's become normal for me not to see my mom, or my brother, the closest people to me for as much as a year, and to miss important holidays. I'm accustomed to change, being the new kid, being scared and dealing with it, of making new friends and loved ones often, and of setting up a life somewhere new.
And now, after dreaming for years about traveling internationally and indefinitely, of feeling like the manner in which I grew up primed me for it, and starting to travel, I find that something is getting in the way of my plan…
LOVE.
I know what you're thinking – girl breaks up, makes a plan to travel solo, heads off on a big adventure, meets someone new, and falls in love. Well yes, but that is not the love I'm referring to here.
What a new romance did for my travel plans was slow me down long enough to realize that my instincts were begging me to do something different from the plan I had set in motion.
As I fell in love with and settled in to what was only ever intended as a third stop on a big North American road trip, I made friends with amazing people who made me think about all of the other amazing people in my life.
And you know what?
I started really missing those people.
And in my calmer frame of mind, I realized that if I stuck to the travel design I'd laid out – living in and traveling in the Chinook until December while on an every-one-I-know tour, followed by selling the Chinook and traveling abroad indefinitely with my free flight benefits – that in just a few months I'd be saying goodbye indefinitely.
And I don't think that's okay with me anymore.
One of the biggest factors, is that with some people I love, even those with whom I'm very close, I clearly can't push pause and have us pickup where we left off when I return. Why not?
Because they are children.
Becoming an aunt eight years ago changed my life, and I have a strong connection with my nephew that I don't want to lose. I've seen him every few months of his life, and yet since I visited in February for the birth of his sister (my niece), got a divorce, and started traveling, I haven't been back. I don't want to be a stranger to my family, and Skype and watching my niece transform in photos on Facebook just isn't enough for me.
And then there is my dear 3-year-old friend Dean, whom I've written a lot about. I'd love to be around enough to see these little ones grow up. What's more, the idea that I can push pause with anyone, even the adults I love, takes for granted things I've learned the hard way shouldn't be.
Is this to say that I won't travel for months at a time? No. That this is how I'll always feel? Nope – I never say never, remember? Or that I think travelers who do take off indefinitely are wrong for doing so? Hell no! But I feel like if I hang on to this plan right now, it will be just to prove to myself that I can do it. And I already know I can – in many ways I've been doing it all of my life.
So I think instead, I'll allow myself once more, to follow my current instincts and revise my plan to include a steadier, balanced dose of love AND travel.
If you’re looking for a gripping book to read, we recommend Swept: Love with a Chance of Drowning by Torre DeRoche. Find out for yourself why this book is receiving five star reviews.
Get 10% off the ebook if you buy now through Almost Fearless (use the discount code LOVE at checkout).
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